Although Islamically speaking the new year for Muslims is after the big Eid,I could not help myself but restart reflecting on the past year.I say restart because I do it each year after the big Eid.Each year I write down the things I would like to achieve than I look back at it and see how much I have done.
My neighbor's were up last night waiting for the fireworks to come on the TV screen and to be honest I could not help but sit down and watch that Big Ben hit twelve so I can see the spectacular fireworks show.
I sat up and my mind started to think about the past year.This years Ramdhan was the best I have ever experienced spiritually.The past year was also a sad year,I struggled much and I was searching within myself to find strength,never the less Ramadhan was a turning point for me ,my flat mate moved in with me,I ended friendships that were not benefiting me,I started my counselling course which I look forward to attending each week.The year started of as a struggle,but than ended well.
This is the year were I will turn twenty five,age has started to become a number for me. my life has started to consist of hours,minutes and seconds.Nothing is worth my pain.I even stuck a note on my wall 'STOP thinking,DO IT NOW!' every time I start to 'think' I stop and just start to put action in to practice.
I even mapped my life out, to get me to focus better,I mapped out all the things I want to achieve,in bright colored felt tip pens :) ( I could not help the felt tip pens).I want to die knowing I did my BEST.I pray Allah takes my soul and I am in the best state,ameen.
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